


Every which way

by Exponentially_me



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Chan as a music major, College Life, Felix is just a mess, I really don't know guys, Insomnia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Roommates, Separation Anxiety, Slice of Life, and so is chan, depressive mood swings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-09 10:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15265497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exponentially_me/pseuds/Exponentially_me
Summary: Felix starts college in Korea. One problem, he can't speak Korean, and he also has bad anxiety when he's away from family. Oh, and he's also a closet gay with an attractive, motherly roommate that he doesn't know how he feels about. Felix's life is just a mess.





	1. First day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Layni1771](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Layni1771/gifts).



> Trigger warning! Bad case of Anxiety and Depressive mood swings. 
> 
> Also written in 3rd person limited, Felix.
> 
> Bold is English  
> Italics are for emphasis on a word or phrase  
> Italics and Bold in quotations mean flashbacks

"Thank you to all the incoming freshmen that attended today for the summer program. You may now go to your designated rooms and meet with your roommates." The principal's voice rang through the auditorium. Today was the first day of the Early start summer program for college and Felix, the rare, non-fluent, Australian born Korean who made it in, was trembling. It was the first time Felix would be away from his family for so long, but Felix was adamant about attending this specific school since he was a freshmen in high school. Now that he was here, he wondered why he was so on board with leaving his home town, his family, his country, for a school that probably wasn't worth the funds, but he was here and he would stick it out. Probably.

He trembled the whole way to his new room. He was way past nervous to meet his new roommate. Which each step he took he could feel his anxiety seeping all throughout his body starting from his feet up. Leaving his family was a horrible idea. Felix knew he was attached to his family, his mother especially. He didn't understand his choice to leave her. The choice to leave his safety zone, his net, his comfort. Who else would be there for him like she would? Who else could sooth his raging anxiety? He certainly couldn't do it himself, and he for sure couldn't trust anyone else for such an important job. He would not allow himself to be that vulnerable to people he just met. 

Felix nipped at his fingers, a habit he had when his anxiety was rapidly reaching his peak. It was a mechanism to tell him to calm down, but his mind ignored these signals at times like these. He was much too nervous and his mind was raging off in a new war within itself. Felix was at his destination. His new room and that's what caused his anxiety to peak. He normally wasn't this.. Anxious? Nervous? So.... Him? Times like these were the worst. He could put on his mask well and play the part when he had his comfort, but going off so vulnerable made him feel like a child who lost his mother. A new born prey in front of a group of predators. That's how he felt. He felt like he would break down at any minute. He could hardly understand the principal when he was speaking. The thought of such a foreign language to him, despite it being his mother tongue, frightened him. He could feel the walls closing in on him. He was slowly losing his sanity in his own thoughts. Drowning in river of new horrible situations. It was a never ending story of 'what if?'s and 'what should I do?'

Felix was so concentrated in his own thoughts that he almost missed the sound of his room door opening. "Oh! Ah! You must be Yongbok! I'm Chan and-- Is something wrong?" Not only did the sudden door swinging open and the face of his new roommate shock him, but the _voice_. The voice sounded so melodic but rough, and kind, and little bit tired but barely. It was wonderful, until he heard that dreadful name he hated so much. Felix couldn't help but make a small face at the mention of that cursed name. "Felix. Call me Felix." Felix didn't know where that courage came from, but he was surprised for 2 reasons. One, his voice didn't shake. Two, wow he spoke in Korean? That was new, and it didn't sound half bad either. He was almost proud of himself. 

"Oh! I got excited! Sorry, I should've asked how you wanted to be addressed! I just haven't had a roommate in a year and........" Felix didn't know whether it was his lack of knowledge in the Korean language, his anxiety acting up, or the jet lag from earlier seeping in but he could hardly understand his roommate at all. Come to think of it, what did he say his name was? Chan? Chang? Chen? Chin? Felix was sure it started with a C at least. " **Oh my god! I'm sorry! I started to ramble. I forgot they said you weren't fluent in Korean yet!** " The unfamiliar, but very familiar Australian accent hit Felix like a wave and it made him feel both comfort and confusion. 

" **You.... Speak English?** " Saying Felix was confused was an understatement. The seemingly older male seemed to have almost perfect Korean so he had not expected him to be able to speak English. Now that Felix thought about it, it made perfect sense to room him with another native English speaker, but that was a situation that Felix hadn't thought about at all. He was kind of relieved? But also really nervous because, wow his roommate might be able to understand his rambles and panic attacks. That was _really_ scary.

" **Oh yes. My name is Christopher Bang. A fellow Aussie.** " Felix felt a swirl of emotions in his stomach and he felt like he needed to throw up. He was relieved but also really really nervous. The thought of someone being able to actually understand his rambles during panic attacks, his not as frequent nightmares, when he thought out loud when he was nervous, and everything he did, was frightening. He was not ready for it. Not at all. He just wanted to curl into bed and just die at the moment, but he probably wouldn't be able to. His nerves were so on edge anything but laying in bead and staring at the ceiling drowning in self-depressing thoughts and bad scenarios seemed impossible. An after effect of his mini anxiety breakdown.

Felix must've been in his thoughts for longer than he acknowledged because he was snapped back to reality when Christopher cleared his throat. " **You okay man?** " Christopher asked and Felix could do nothing but nod. His throat suddenly became dry and he didn't have the energy or courage to speak in fear of his voice cracking and making an even bigger fool of himself. " **I umm.. You know... I'm just tired?** " Felix fidgeted with his finger and Christopher nodded at him. Felix hated the way his voice came out and the way his words ended up stringing together. " **I see. Well go inside and take a nap. I'll wake you up for some dinner!** " Christopher said with enthusiasm meant to help Felix feel more at ease, except it didn't help and Felix felt even worse for not being able to smile at the other. All Felix could do was nod and awkwardly shuffle into their shared room while Christopher left to do whatever he was going to do.

Felix unpacked his necessary things and left the rest. He wasn't sure if he was okay to take out his Ryan plushie with the panda hat that he calls Mr. Snuggles or not so he left that in his bag in the closet. He figures that Mr. Snuggles will be okay. Then he starts to set up his bed. He changed the pillow cases, the bed sheets and added his own comforter his mother bought him. The new set was black because he wanted to seem more mature and not take his rainbow ones. That would be more than embarrassing for him, and his roommate. Who wants a childish roommate? It's already bad enough he was a closeted gay. He obviously didn't want to be the embarrassing one with the rainbow sheets.

After that, Felix just laid in his new bed, trying to find a comfortable position on the bed to attempt to sleep. He probably wouldn't be able to sleep and honestly would be regretting his life choices while staring blankly at everything and nothing, but at least he attempted to rest. Being in solitude would probably calm down, at least a little of his ranging anxiety, right? He hoped it would help. He didn't feel like bursting into tears for no reason in the middle of the day... Again. Not again please. He already cried when he had to leave his mother at the airport and his pride was fragile then, he doesn't need it to be completely shattered now.

Somehow Felix managed to fall asleep but his dream was something he feared. It wasn't just a dream, it was a real life nightmare. They were flashbacks of when he left his mother in the airport. It didn't sound bad, but it was much worse than anything Felix had ever experienced before. He could feel his support beam shattering into nothing, he could feel the odd stares and whispers of people, it felt like his body was going to collapse inward and he would just disappear and no one would care. ' _ **He's a man, he shouldn't cry**_.' ' _ **That's gay bro**_.' ' ** _He seems gay_**.' He could hear the harsh words of everyone. The world was against him and he felt trapped. His heart was racing, he felt like his mind would just give out. He was moving, but he wasn't. He couldn't do anything. It's useless, he was useless when it came to his own head. He couldn't get away from his anxiety and own fears eating at him until he would be nothing. 

Felix's eyes snapped open. The bright lights made his vision blurry and he could hardly see anything until a dark shadow made it way into his sight. The worried look from his roommate was enough to confirm that he was whimpering in his sleep. He winced at the nightmare again and sighed softly. **"Are you okay? You were almost crying.** " His roommate's voice matched his expression of worry and concern, but Felix could hear the small hint of tired in his voice. " **Y- Yeah. I'm fine.** " Felix's voice was surprisingly soft and it's not something he expected to come out. Felix could feel the sweat that covered his body and it felt gross. He wanted to just shower and scrub it off along with the uneasiness and anxiety, but he couldn't scrub those off like sweat. He had to live with them until they took a small vacation only to return again sometime after. He was not excited. 

" **You sure? I can bring you back some food if you don't feel like leaving the room.** " Felix almost smiled at the kind and concerned voice of the older boy, but he couldn't bring himself to smile. Not after that. Felix swallowed the lump in his throat and looked up at the concerned roommate. " **If you can... Can you also direct me to the bathrooms? I need a shower.** " How Felix got that out without messing up is a mystery to him, but he could figure that out later. Christopher had nodded his head and offered Felix a hand to help him get out of bed. Felix took his hand with a small, fake smile and got off the small bed, heading to his closet to grab his pajamas, which consisted of an overly baggy shirt and basketball shorts. And with that, Christopher led Felix to the dorm showers and left to grab some food for the both of them.

Felix almost enjoyed the steaming hot shower he had. He could feel the water burning at his skin, and it kind of hurt, but it felt much better than it hurt. Felix scrubbed at his skin until it was pink and raw, scratched his scalp to get all the grease and oil until his hair almost felt damaged, and sat in the burning hot water until he was ready to face the world. He was never truly ready to face the world, but he can pretend with his best mask on. 

Once Felix was out of the shower and in his normal clothes, he headed back to his dorm room. It was easy to navigate because the bathrooms were only a few doors down. A blessing and a curse if you asked him. When he opened the door to his room, Christopher was already inside with about 2 water bottles, 2 energy drinks, 2 sandwiches and about 4 chips. Felix had no words at the amount of food his roommate was able to get, but he was kind of happy. Christopher looked at Felix with a kind smile and ushered the younger boy to sit next to him. "Come on mate, I don't bite. I promise." Felix hesitated for a bit before accepting that Chris was a nice dude and was only there to help. He took the floor next to Chris and they started to eat and make small talk. 

Felix was really glad that his roommate was someone so nice and easy to talk to. He knew Chris could be trusted with his school worries since Chris was very open about his struggles as a student in college. Felix was picking up parts of Chris's personality and he saw how Chris tried his best to make Felix comfortable. It was both motherly and fatherly. Felix was able to laugh and smile that night while talking to Chris. Chris never forced Felix to talk about his nightmare, or why he was so nervous. Chris never forced anything out of the younger boy and Felix appreciated that. Felix was able to sleep easier than he thought he would that night, and it was thanks to Chris. Felix just hopes that this program will be able to help him make the college a home.


	2. Just another day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix was just having a kind of low day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kinda choppy and unedited?

The first few weeks of university went pretty well for Felix. Chan really helped Felix adapt to the new space and simultaneously learn Korean while doing so. Felix had managed to put his anxiety behind him and somewhat control it instead of it controlling him. Chan had helped Felix make friends the second day and he was slowly coming out of his shell and becoming the Felix he liked to be. The happy Felix with the kind smile and affectionate hugs. It made him feel a lot better and Chan became someone Felix could trust with sensitive information. They always talked about their days and Chan told him how to deal with a few teachers that gave him a hard time in class. 

That was the good part. The last few weeks of the summer program were here and Felix had hit a sudden low. He just woke up one day and was not feeling life. He had woken up later than usual, and was feeling really sluggish. He had no desires to move, or do anything really. He just wanted to stay in bed and die, if he was being honest. But he knew Chan would not allow him to stay in bed since he had classes today, so with that, Felix reluctantly threw his blanket off and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. 

He sat in that position for a good solid minute before getting up and going to the closet to grab some clothes for his day. He just grabbed whatever he could, and picked up his towel and bathroom bag, his little pouch to make traveling to the bathroom easier. 

Just as Felix was about to open the door, it swung open and almost hit him in the face. Felix backed up last minute and fell, having tripped over shoes placed by the door. " **Oh man! I'm sorry Lix**." Chan apologized almost immediately and Felix just shook his head. " **It's fine. Whatever.** " Felix just sighed and got up, trudging past a worried Chan and to the bathroom. The look Chan gave Felix was the equivalent to a look a worried mother gives her sick child. Felix knew, but he really didn't want to deal with that at the moment. He didn't really want to deal with anything at the moment. He was just... There. He felt like an empty shell and he had no knowledge why. It was the most random mood drop of his existence. 

He woke up too late. The showers were taken and he had to wait for the showers to open up, which probably meant no hot water, but that was the least of his worries. Instead, Felix brushed his teeth at a rather slow and lazy pace. It was just how he felt at the moment. He also used the bathroom and probably made a few guys in the shower section scream because of the sudden burst of cold water. He felt sorry but at the same time he didn't really care. His turn came soon enough and the most hot water he had, was lukewarm cold water. Today was already starting out bad, which means one of two things. It would A, get better from here on out, or B, get worse until Felix felt the need to jump off a cliff. 

Somehow, from the showers back to his room and to his first class, Felix's mood just dropped an alarming rate for no reason. He didn't know why, but Felix forced a smile on his face and greeted everyone who greeted him. He couldn't show them that he was just randomly slightly depressed for no reason. That wouldn't be fair to them, so he just smiled and pretended he was okay. He was just thankful his first class was an early morning class so no one was really awake enough to notice the shift in his mood since the last time he was there. Not even the teacher was awake enough to notice how tired he really was. 

Felix got no work done in that class, nor did he really learn anything, but the assignment was due next week and he would see the teacher the day after tomorrow so he figures it would be fine. Felix just packed up and headed to his next class without a word. He plastered on that fake smile again and walked to the other side of the campus where his next class was. Of course, he made dry replies to people who stopped to talk to him, but with a bright fake smile on his face, so no one really noticed. The only noticeable thing was his desire not to be touched. Felix was normally a very affectionate person and loved skinship. Not today. Today he spent all his energy on avoiding everyone's touch. 

His second class was the last of the day. He changed seats to sit in front of the professor. It was an empty seat and no one really sat near him. The professor sometimes spit so most students steered clear of the front desk. Not Felix. Not today. He specifically sat there because he knew no one would sit next to him. However, that didn't stop Felix from procrastinating on his work and dozing off in class. He just didn't have the energy for this. He really didn't. He was having a hard time just pretending to smile at the moment. The professor fucked up his name, again, and assigned a partner project. Just that was enough to drive Felix to wish upon his own death. 

That class was painstakingly slow and Felix almost just left the class. Like, he legitimately just had the urge to get up and leave, and he almost did it. He had to restrain himself from going with his urges, which was hard in so many ways. He just needed out. He needed to leave the class. He needed to leave the university. He needed to leave the city, the country. Heck, he needed to leave the world to be even remotely happy with himself. But he couldn't just leave the world and he knew that. 

The class ended and Felix was first to leave. He took the more uncommon routes he could find to his dorm, just so no one would stop him to talk. Of course, his wishes were shut down and rejected as he heard his name being called very loudly by a familiar voice, and he felt an arm sling around his shoulders. "Felix! We should go have lunch." Felix cringed at two things, one, he was t o u c h i n g Felix, and two, he was right in his ear. Not cool. "Not today Jisung. Ask Chan hyung. I'm not hungry." Felix said softly, hitting Jisung's arm off. Jisung and Felix met through Chan, and Jisung was Felix's first friend his age. He kind of felt bad for just shutting the other boy down, but he did not want to be touched, or talked to. Felix sped up in his walking and completely just left the other boy standing there confused. 

Felix got to his room, and thankfully, Chan had a full 5 classes today. Why? Felix had no idea, but that wasn't his problem. All he cared about was he finally in the comfort of his own room to do as he pleases. With that, Felix kicked off his shoes and dove into his bed. It wasn't the softest thing in the world, but it was fine. He managed to throw his blankets over him and roll so he was staring at the ceiling. 

There was a blank stare, and then it got blurry. One tear, two tears, three, and then the waterworks just turned on. Felix had no idea why he was crying. He just was and he couldn't stop it. There was no possible way to make him stop. Every wipe of his sleeve just produced more tears and really wet sleeves. He wished he could stop crying and stop feeling this wave of negative emotions, but he couldn't and that was a problem for him. He was so wallowed in his own negativity and tears that he didn't notice the door open or the figure standing next to his bed, watching the younger cry for a reason that was unknown to both of them. 

I wasn't until Felix felt a soft dip in his bed and the warmth of another person sneaking under his blankets that he realizes that Chan is with him and watching him cry. Felix froze, unable to do anything but continue to let the tears fall and breath softly. Thank god Felix was shedding silent tears and not full out sobbing. Felix felt Chan move closer to him, but not touching him either. Chan's hand found itself in Felix's hair with soothing 'Shhh' sounds and sweet whispers of ' **It's okay Lix**.' coming from his mouth. Felix started to cry more. Not because Chan was touching him, but because he felt bad he was caught and was now probably worrying Chan and bringing his mood down. Felix cried, and cried, until he exhausted himself from crying and gradually fell asleep. 

Waking up was not any better. Chan was gone, a note in his place and Felix was embarrassed. He just showed the world what a bad attitude he has and how much of a baby he probably was. He wanted to just go hide, to be nice about it. He would much prefer a sniper to come take him out, but he doubts that one will happen so he can only hope no one is looking for him. Maybe disappearing wouldn't be too bad. All he needed was to not be found. Ever. That was a lot harder than it sounded and Felix didn't have the energy for that challenge. He sighed softly and buried his face in his pillow, groaning. His joints were all stiff but he had no desires to move. 

Felix just stared at the ceiling again, not doing anything until he heard a soft 'click' sound and his eyes went from the ceiling to the person at the door. Chan noticed Felix's eyes on him and he smiled warmly. Felix's eyes shifted back from Chan to the ceiling. " **Are you feeling better Lix?** " No reply. " **Do you want to talk about it?** " Not even a sigh. Chan sighed softly and put his things down, looking at his roommate seriously. "Felix. You need to eat. I know you might not be hungry, but try." Chan walked to the edge of Felix's bed and stared at him. Felix let out a sigh but made no movements. " **Please Lix? You can't just starve yourself.** " Felix felt bad for Chan. He honestly did, but that nap made him feel worse and his low moods end up being contagious so he'd rather not.

Today was just one of those days where no one could win. Felix couldn't win, Chan couldn't win, and no one was happy. Felix honestly hated making people feel bad, and he always tried his best to avoid dragging people into his moods, but today couldn't be helped and so another day came to an end. A not so happy one, but Felix was all too used to that. Maybe it just hurt a little more today since he was starting to fall asleep with happy feeling the past few weeks. Today really put him in check. Hopefully he would feel significantly better tomorrow. Or even just a little would make a huge difference to him. Which ever works best for the world. Every which way was okay with him. As long as it was even just a little bit better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to go up eons ago. Rip.


	3. Inside my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chan struggles with what decisions to make at 3AM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written in Chan's 3rd person.

Chan sighed and looked at the sleeping Felix from his desk. From what Jisung told him, Felix was acting unusual. Maybe it had something to do with his anxiety? Chan didn't know for sure and Felix wouldn't tell him about it so he just had to assume, like with Felix's anxiety. Felix was kind of reserved still. He was getting used to the place, yeah but he still wouldn't take out his Ryan plushie from the closet, which means he is still scared. Scared of what, Chan didn't know. He worried about Felix, but Chan had his own problems, like whether or not he'll be able to get some sleep tonight since he decided to pack his schedule with classes after classes. 

Why did he do that? He didn't even know himself? Maybe he just liked the pressure or feeling like he had something to do, like he was needed. It was very demanding. No sane person would take ten classes as a junior. He didn't even need the extra classes. He honestly only needed only one more class to graduate and here he was, taking nine other ones not even relevant to his major. The amount of Minors he has under his belt is alarming, and only one of them he actually likes. 

He glanced over to Felix once more and sighed. He was worried about the other male, no doubt. Chan wasn't even supposed to have a roommate, but the school came to him for help and he couldn't just let the poor boy suffer alone. Being in a foreign country for the first time is scary, he knows from experience, but Chan had family to help him. Felix came alone and for college. To be completely honest though, Chan was quite proud of how well Felix was progressing. He didn't seem as panicked and his Korean was getting much much better, He was kind of proud of him? It was an odd thought, but he's grown quite attached to Felix since he's first arrived. 

Chan sighed at himself and looked at the clock on his desk. 3:36 AM. The proper time to sleep, but he couldn't. Not now with all the worries filling his head. Chan bit his lower lip, a habit of his when he was thinking. He had his pills to help, but there was no guarantee he would be able to wake up for his extra 7AM class and he can't miss that. That one is actually for his major. Chan was stuck. His work was done, sleep was calling his body, but he would just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. If he took his pills he would sleep but for how long? Chan sighed and took out his phone. He was going to ask to hang out. He just hoped the other person was awake.

And he was. Chan and Woojin skillfully took a stroll through the park, avoiding the dorm leader routes. They knew them by heart by now. They've been at this for years. "So, hows the little guy?" Woojin asked, his fingers interlocked with Chan's and their hands swinging in the same rhythm of their walking. "Felix? I think he's okay. Had a slump day yesterday." Chan sighed out and pulled Woojin closer to him, rubbing Woojin's hand with his free one. It was cold out and _maybe_  going out in just a thin sleep shirt and pajama pants were a bad idea, but Chan couldn't help it. Woojin just sometimes makes him act without thinking. 

Of course, Woojin noticed the red of Chan's ears through the dim park lights and took him back round. Chan made a noise of surprise, since they didn't finish their normal routine of lapping the park at least twice. Heck, they didn't even make it past half a lap. "What?" Chan asked while Woojin pulled him back in the direction of the dorm."Your ears are red, your face is pink, it's cold and you're only in a thin sleep shirt and pajama pants. You're cold, and I know it." Chan didn't even have time to refuse before Woojin pulled him closer, wrapping his arm around Chan's shoulder and gently pushing the younger's head down to his shoulder. This always flustered Chan, and Woojin knew it all too well. 

Woojin smiled at Chan's silence. He knew it meant that Chan was really flustered and can't argue back, so he took the opportunity to grab and interlock their left hands together. Sure it was awkward, but neither of them cared at the moment. Woojin hummed a song he's been working on and led Chan back to his dorm. Woojin had a single room so it was just easier to go there for their 4AM cuddles after walking. Chan just, relaxed and let Woojin lead him to wherever he wanted them to go. He fully trusts Woojin with his life and he knew Woojin wouldn't hurt him in the slightest. He can't even hurt a fly. 

Somehow, Woojin and Chan managed to sneak back into Woojin's room without anyone noticing. Right away, Woojin took off his jacket and threw it on his chair while getting on his bed. Chan followed and wedged himself between Woojing's thighs, his back resting on Woojin's chest. Chen let out a sigh of content as Woojin wrapped his arms around Chan's waist and rocked them side by side while humming a lullaby tune. Chan naturally relaxed inside Woojin's arms and let himself fade. Woojin was the only place he truly felt safe enough to sleep, even if it was only an hour or two. 

But of course, the morning must come. Woojin's 6:30AM alarm rang and Chan was woken from his slumber. Woojin was already up and getting changed. Chan sighed and sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Morning Princess, had a nice nap?" Woojin joked as he slipped on his socks. Chan rolled his eyes and flung the blanket from him, he doesn't even remember when that was put on him. "Yeah, yeah. Hand me some clothes, will you?" Chan slipped out of Woojin's bed and stretched a bit, grabbing the clothes Woojin held out to him. Chan always kept extra clothes here for nights like these, where he doesn't feel like being alone but doesn't want to bother anyone else. Chan flashed woojin and smile and pecked the elders cheek, making Woojin scrunch his face and playfully push him away. "I get it. Go get ready, your class starts soon." Woojin laughed softly at Chan's face of realization and shook his head. Despite Chan wanting to come off as mature, he was really just a kid after all. 

Chan walked into class looking like a disheveled mess with Woojin walking in behind him. The contrast between the two were stark and one can easily tell the difference between who actually had gotten sleep and who probably stayed up all night studying. Chan was the latter, but he didn't actually study.  The two took their normal seats and made conversations with their classmates before class actually started. The two boys have very fond memories of this class and the teacher. They first met in this class for Music Theory 101 in Freshmen year. Now in Junior yer they're in Music Theory 450 and from what Prof. Lee said, the best students in the advanced class. Chan smiled at his own fond memories before taking notes on his laptop he rushed to get for class. He has to focus on this class, for sure. Chan noticed Woojin's eyes on him, and he flashed the elder a smile. It said he was okay, but Woojin knew what was behind that smile. He dismissed it and started to work on his own notes. "You have to take notes to pass!" says Prof. Lee constantly. 

Class was fun, but exhausting for Chan. Woojin sent Chan on his merry way after placing a kiss on Chan's cheek and teasing him about how red he got, and now the whole class will be teasing Chan about it. Though homosexuality isn't very accepted in Korean culture yet, he's proud to be in a class full of support. Music Theory 450 is the only class Chan feels comfortable having affection with Woojin in, and they're happy there. Even Prof. Lee says the couple is cute and that she's happy to be in a class with such openness to it. Chan walked to his dorm with a little hop in his step. What he didn't expect was to happily fling the door open and see Felix with his sleeping pill bottle. 

Before Chan could really react, Felix dropped the pill bottle and looked very scared. " **Chris I--** " Chan looked around, how did Felix find it? Chan was sure he hid it when-- He didn't. He remembers taking it out and then he called Woojin to go out with him. Was he really that careless to just leave it? It wouldn't be a big deal to most people, but to Chan it was like an identity he wanted to keep secret. Only few people know about his problem, the only student being Woojin. He was so distressed that he didn't even realize Felix was trying to get his attention until he felt arms on his shoulders and shaking. 

It really wouldn't be that bad for anyone to find out, but Chan is trying to help Felix with his problems, and now that his own slipped out he can't just-- Chan was scared. How would the younger think of him? He cares deeply for Felix, more than he would admit. Maybe Felix would brush it to the side? Would he just let the older live? Would he lose all faith he had? The thoughts swirled in Chan's head and made him dizzy. "Are you okay?" Felix grabbed Chan's arm and lead him to his bed. "You need sleep! We can talk about it more later!" Chan just sighed and couldn't say anything. A mix of shock and exhaustion seeped into his bones and made them feel like bricks. He couldn't move and so he just, fell asleep. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, a fluff attack. I didn't expect it as much as you guys did. Whoops.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I really like to write when I'm tired. This will update as I write. No specific time. Just whenever I can.  
> (I have a horrible procrastination habit and bad writers block in huge chunks :') ) 
> 
> P.s. I'll edit this probably later. Sometime in the future.


End file.
